Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; Ephesians 5:25
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2:24
Believe it or not, these two verses are tied together. They are tied together because the Lord performed the most loving act of all, by giving Adam a wife. The scriptures call her a helpmeet. In the simplest form the word means, “One who helps or aids another.” In American society, the idea of a woman being a helpmeet has been sadly diminished. I blame men and women for this condition because we have allowed human laws to interfere with God’s plan. The real application was all about love, and sadly, love has been set aside for gain.
A man needs a woman. Men can easily lose sight of this. As Mark Gungor says, “Getting her to pay attention to you in the first place is the greatest challenge.” Sorry, Mark if I misquoted you. However, he is right. A man will bait a woman in order to claim her and ask her to marry him. We go out of our way to get the woman we want. We spend time with her, talk to her, do whatever she wants, all to get her to pay attention to us and give in to marry us. Then men, once we have a wife, will go on to the next pursuit. It’s true, that is in our DNA. However, our actions speak lies. The woman thinks that what she sees in the man is what she is getting. When all the attention stops, she ponders, “Who did I really marry?”
Gary Chapman in his book, “The Five Love Languages” announces that a man and a woman have needs. Believe it or not the man and the woman in the pursuit of love will study what makes the other happy. It is together time? gifts? touch? In many ways we work hard to discover what the other needs and wants. We go out of our way to accomplish what we want. We find out what makes the other one love and do those things. Why then do we stop? It is called “life.” Life happens. Two might live as cheaply as one, but when you have a child that becomes three and you need more income. Second, we want to have things a little easier. If we have a garden we would like a tiller. We need a mower to cut grass. We need a reliable car to use and the list goes on. In essence, need and want pull us from each other. Whether one or both works outside the home, we can lose sight of love.
What is the answer? Spend time with God. Did you notice I started with Genesis 2? It was God who created the first union and He knows what our union needs, not just words of love, but actions of love. I still recall my favorite memory of my own mom and dad sitting at the kitchen table in the early morning enjoying coffee together. They always sat close to each other. They always whispered. They found time together. They endured the struggles of life not by looking away from themselves, but to each other.
God allows us to be ONE. It is His institution. Make your marriage after His plan and it cannot fail.
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